Like no business I know...

Ah Venice...

2011-06-25T04:10:00.001-07:00

Here are a few more images from this week at the VBFS. These first few are things inside the museum area. For those who don't like clowns.. tough.

Brett and the Blade Box

I shouldn't have to explain this photo...

Thrilled onlookers..

The electra chair in action!

Asia, Brett, and Phoenix outside between shows

Glue.. a horse.. get it?

Silk thru hand...

Happy razors!

In the hot seat...

And my view from the chair.

Rocky, the 5-legged dog waves goodbye to you.

Back in Action

2011-06-22T14:22:00.001-07:00

I bet you thought this blog was over? That we had forgotten it and just was gonna let it lie dormant. Well... you were WRONG!! This week I'm out at the Venice Beach Freak Show performing with fellow weirdo Brett Loudermilk.

So here are a few photos from day one. Enjoy.

Here is Brett And Asia (AKA: Miss Electra AKA: Lady Twisto AKA: The Rubber Girl)

Stage Shots

View from the front

View from the front facing the other way...

The owner, operator and general badd-ass Todd Ray

Me with my new look

More to come most likely.

See you down the road...

2007-11-17T02:45:00.000-08:00

Last of the photos I am going to post. No reason to eat the horse after you have flogged it to pieces.

See you next time kids, and remember to support the alternative arts. Local and touring.

Bizzaro.

The Blow Off...

2007-11-16T12:35:00.000-08:00

Step right up and see the wonders of the amazing Microwaved Lightbulb. You won't believe your eyes. Don't try this at home. Do it at a hotel.

Holy rusted metal Batman...

2007-11-15T15:09:00.000-08:00

More photos with a better camera!!

Almost.. there....

2007-11-14T00:15:00.000-08:00

This is a bit of a recap complete with photos I haven't seen before of our journey. The video I promised is forthcoming. Things got a bit hectic when I got back so...

You know.. same bat time..

Bizzaro.

CORK!!

2007-11-06T15:39:00.000-08:00

The best thing about being on this trip was the chance to see so many professional and entertaining acts. Not just trying to be freaky but being GOOD at it. Too many performers want to be stars without learning anything about being a performer. To quote Keith Bindlestiff, "Expect your first 100 shows to suck". With that in mind, here are some people who have obviously exceeded their 100 show limit.

Bindlstiff Family Circus (Winner of the 2007 sideshow Candlelight award and all around bad-asses)
Cheeky Monkey Sideshow (A favorite this year of brilliant and talented performers)
Swami Yomahmi (Had the best end gag for a show I think I have ever seen.)
Mab, Just Mab (A new personal fave. Don't ask, just look)
Brett Loudermilk (Young and crazy. His future is bright.. unless he discovers girls soon. I have some good blackmail footage of him too.)
Dr. Wilson (Did the impossible. A cups and balls routine that didn't make me wanna hurl.)
Zamora (A sideshow staple for some time.. and I don't mean the kind you put in your forehead.)
Shocked and Amazed (Required Reading)

Thaz all for now. It was a great trip and we look forward to more of them in the future. Hopefully the sideshow gathering will have me back. I promise to bring more stuff next time.

Next week there should be some footage from the trip so stay tuned!!!

Bizzaro.

MAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

2007-11-05T11:40:00.000-08:00

Only a handful of people will get that title.... Anywho,o. as promised, photos of the trip. Let's start with our SECOND encounter with the throttle cable snapping!!

Between Memphis and Nashville, we stopped at an abandoned Texaco.

Inside we found what we can only assume was the leftovers from a redneck homeless bordello. Thus, Bordelloco was born!!

Out back, C is for Crispy. That's good enuff for me.

We found a good place to put it I think.

Moving on, we got it fixed SIX HOURS LATER!! We headed to Youngstown, OH (with only a flat tire to annoy us) and met Dr. Ray. A Crispy fan and all around cool guy. (Went to college with P&T) The next day... part of the bus caught fire. Later, my blanket and pillow was found still smoldering.

It's gone now.

Later that evening we did two shows at the Oakland with a band called "The Zou" (Pronounced: Zoo) who did their take on songs from Rocky Horror.

We finally made it to Wilkes-Barre and the sideshow gathering where it was ALL ALIVE ON THE INSIDE!! Including this two headed turtle.

There were some great performers oot and aboot. Zamora the Torture king even made time to stick it to the man.

Natasha Zarushka swallowed sword after sword culminating in her downing one made of neon.

From Austin, TX and all the way from Vegas was Jackie (Not sure on that spelling) the Human Tripod. Sweet girl. You can see her from time to time with the 999 eyes freakshow.

As I said memories that will last a lifetime... all thanx to Dr. Wilson, who did the impossible. A cups and balls I enjoyed. PENETRATE!!

As we head back to OK and then to TX, I remind you that beauty is found in every shape and size and those without intestines are people too.

Tomorrow, links a plenty!!

Bizzaro.

DEATHTRAP TOUR 2007

2007-11-04T19:20:00.000-08:00

Well we're on the way home now. Sorry updates were not more frequent. Tomorrow there will be photos and a major update. In short, the Sideshow Gathering was a phenomenal time that defies words. Amazing performances, great people, and memories I will keep thanx to Dr. Wilson's Elixir.

Stay tuned!!

Bizzaro.

What's long in the middle and round on both ends?

2007-11-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

So the three shows we did in Youngstown, OH went well. We performed at
the local college at noon then off to the Oakland theater to do two
shows with a band called TheZou. The did a set in drag covering songs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. How neet is that?

We
have had a very generous host here named Dr. Ray. Good guy and
entertainer friendly. Him and his wife gave me a new pillow as mytye dye blanket and pillow I brought caught fire. (Don't ask. I'll give you a full rundown of the problems when the tour is over.)

Now we are off to our Final Destination... Hmm
I dunno if I like the term "Final" the way things have been going...
ANYWAY, The Sideshow Gathering will be a blast.
Inks and freaks.. what more do you want.. hell what more do you need?

Will update again when I can... hopefully with more photos.

Bizzaro.

Quick.. hide the beer!!

2007-10-29T15:32:00.000-07:00

So far, so.. um.. well. Here's a quick update:

Right now we are idling in a big blue bus on highway 40. Our accelerator cable hath snapped for the second time. So that's fun.Luckily we don't have to be in Youngstown, OH for another 24 hours. The shows in Little Rock went.. well.. the first one was rough. The second was MUCH better. The Full Moon Horror Con was a low turnout but good fun. In the evening Michale Graves did a show, there was food, drink, and ROCK AND ROLL BABY!! I could go on and on but I won't.. instead.. here's some photos.

You know Crispy and Boobzilla...

You probably don't know Becca, our sound nigga.

This is Smidged. She is the token trouble maker.

And if you don't know who I am by now... you suck.

This is a photo from the act for WEAR 2007 (World Escape Artist Relay). Baseball Bat + Strait Jacket = Hilarity.

Smidged ascending a ladder of machetes.

This is before Michale Graves opened his little yellow bag and gave the audience Quaaludes and sang the slowest version of Dig up Her Bones EVAR!

So that's it for now from the road. 64 miles to Graceland. We're closer than Kevin Costner.

Bizzaro.

We're Baaaaaaaack....

2007-10-26T12:50:00.000-07:00

That's right freaks and freakettes!! Bizzaro heads back out for another exciting round of sidehshow craziness!! This time with the Crispy Family. Our final destination is going to be The Sideshow Gathering. A sideshow and tattoo convention. Ink and Freaks. What could be better? Watch this space for random updates and show dates. You can also keep track at my website schedule Here.

We will be at the Full Moon Horror Convention this weekend and then off to Ohio and PA. Be on the look out!! More soon.

Bizzaro.

I want more...

2007-01-30T21:05:00.000-08:00

I know I was supposed to post more photos here.. and I will I swear...

until then go here and be amused at the full monte.. as it were.. http://shocktoberfest.com/freakshow.jpg

Like a Def Leppard Song...

2006-11-07T00:33:00.000-08:00

Here is some amusing slang to know/learn if yer on the lam with some carnies.
Stick Joint - Usually games that are composed of 2 x 4's and such. IE - not in a trailer.
Key to the Midway - what holds EVERYTHING together.
Jig Spot - A location composed mostly of people of an African American decent
Bozo - A dunk tank and/or the person who works it.
Ding - the money you get from the rubes
Blow Off - The last thing you hit them up for and get them out of sight or out of tent.

Speaking of which, this way to the great egress...(insert yer own captions I'm lazy tonight)

This is Tree Hugger. He can explain that to you himself.

More photos coming.. eventually. No idea when tho'. Might be a while. Stay tuned.

Bizzaro.

Stick a pumpkin, win a pumpkin...

2006-10-31T14:20:00.000-08:00

I fly back to TX this week and will post more photos but this is the end of the tour today. You kids enjoy this classic..

2006-10-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the evil puppet Bizzaro. Here at ShocktoberFest to show you a taste of the madness we call sideshow.

Where is Spike you ask?

He got eaten by our trained whino Zombie.

Mere moments before the incident....

The hit was put out on him by the infamous panty ninja.

This is Moose.. close up.

Mouse Trap + Tongue = Hilarity.

Later we found out...He's a quart low.

Thaz all for now. More coming.. eventually.

Mmmmm.. glossy....

2006-10-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

Finally... the thyme has come. Sitting at the Sinking Springs Pooblic libary (Yay public skool edukashun!!) and gonna post photos for you to see. These are the first batch.. the halloween ones will come later next week.

Here we are in Beautiful Socialist Park. (The Lenin Statue got torn down I think)

I am Amish Monkey!! Here to tell you about the sideshow.

This is the crawl space we live in. Roomy no?

Here I am glass Walking.. sortof.

Fire BAD!!

Ahh relaxing on the bed of nails.

This is what it feels like to be a fat man.

Here I am with my pals Spike and Candy. (She's new this year)

She likes fire...

Strange Piercings...

and Scars. (Chicks dig scars)

Did I mention the forked tounge? Spike is a very happy man.

She can also tell you your future.. and how big a slut you are.

You can feed her!!

Thaz Moose. He's lost a lot of weight. We still love him.

He swallows swords.. sometimes.

Hey who is that hiding behind the bed of nails?!

It's just Bizzaro. He likes magic.. no one else does.

Well thaz it from the sideshow for now. I think my time is up. We hope you enjoyed it.

.........

Squared..

2006-10-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Well kids I have much photos to show you.. but as of yet no way to get them off a camera and onto the magical wonderous inarweb. Since I am killing time at the Frederick Community College let me update you on what's been going on.

First off, last minute change of plans we ended up in Sinking Springs, PA again this year and NOT NY. We are at www.shocktoberfest.com again. Fun times. Our last spot was frederick, MD where a 20$ bill fell from the sky into a trash can RIGHT in front of me. Like pennies from heaven.. with inflation. It's good to be the king.

We made new fiends out here as well. Met the 8 kool poeple who live in Frederick. (We're hanging out with them this week.) Tomorrow afternoon Moose and I will be on 98 Rock (local radio station here) for an interview trying to get our friend nick some brownie points to be an intern. Talk about desperation hunh?

With any luck I can get some photos up soon if not you'll just have to wait for the buttload to hit when I return from the road in Early Nov.

The only real major difference out here this year is we are in ONE tent and not two making tear down and set up THAT much easier. We have to share it with the mutant animals (Which I can't post photos of sadly). We have a cow with 5 legs a 4 horned sheep a punk rock chicken and a chicken with fur.

I swear it seems that the East is where the South sends it's rejects. There are sum ignorant people living out here. Uppity no money spending jaded mofos at that. It's not like it used to be I tells yah. Anywho...

Thaz my update. I'll be in touch soon I hope. You kids remember to run with scissors.

Bizzaro.

I seen fire and I seen rain...

2006-09-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates this time around kids. No laptop to pirate signals from and no camera kinda make for a hard update time. We have been working hard tho'. Allentown, then Dallas.. PA.. who knew? Now Frederick, MD again and soon Staten Island, NY for all of October. Thaz right Bizzaro and the sideshow invades NY.. lock up your sanity because you won't need it.

So thaz our schedule. I have lots to tell but very little time to tell it with. Hopefully that will change later in the week. Until then, stay freeky.

Bizzaro.

Is it that time already?

2006-08-26T14:42:00.001-07:00

Remember last year? The bowling... the freaks.. the carnies? Well it is indeed time once again for Bizzaro to hit the road with the Circus Sideshows troupe. Joining us this year is the ever fluffy Moose, the diminutive but hardcore Spike, and the new person I nkow Jack about.. Candy. Hopefully updates will be soon, but we won't have a laptop this year so updates and photo might be slim.

My first stop is in Allentown, PA starting on the 28th of August. Dunno what faire but it's a big one. Come out and see us!!

Bizzaro.

Once more into the breach...

2005-11-06T02:11:00.000-08:00

The final post from our sideshow seasoning. We're back in TX for a bit for a few shows and fun.

The Rubber Midget (Or Ms. Electra was gone and Spider was ill)

For an Extra Dollar you got to "Poke a Midget with a Stick"!!

Moose's other skill is balancing stuff

(The label said it was a COC Monster)

One last crowd shot in disbelief at.. something...

When we do another tour we shall resume posting here, but until then this is Bizzaro telling you to GO THE HELL HOME!!!

The final revulsion...

2005-10-29T11:32:00.000-07:00

Here are the almost last photos of our trip. This first batch comes from the freakshow pajama jam...

"Hello my name is Ms. Electra Fyre and I'm here to show you around the waaaay too early sunday morning show they forced us to do."

"Here is spike and Lenore. Spike is sporting kool JD pants."

"This is Spider. I'd do her."

"This is Bizzaro in his floofy pants. He gets to do Spider. I'll have her kill him in his sleep."

"That's Moose who pulled an all nighter. See what he missed?"

"And how he felt afterwards"

"This is Moose's Brain..."

"This is Moose's Brain on FIRE!!!"

Ok now a buncha random photos from the shows....

This is a Zombie Bum

He likes Beer

and he beat our ass at cards...

We were not pleased.

He took all our money.

I think he cheated.

It's been a fun educational time had by all. Gonna do Halloween in style and come back to Dallas. There will be a few more photos after I return so check back ina week or so... thus has spoken the PANTY NINJA!!!

Another day another dollar...

2005-10-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well the weekends get crazier and crazier out here. Met up with some of the local mages here and gonna perform for them Sat. at the local-ish magic shop. They made us get up EARLY last Sunday for some Flea Market (Read: Glorified garage sale) and we made it the freak show pajama jam show. There are photos. They will appear soon.

Bizzaro.

Like an AC/DC song I think...

2005-10-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is why freaks should be kept away from heavy objects...

Moments from tossing large spheres down varnished pathways

Moose in motion

Moose practices his hadoken

Far too happy.. seriosuly. Something about jolly fat men.

See title of this post...

Go SPIKE!!

Hmm no pins are knocked down...

Tell us how you really feel

One hand in the pocket...

One foot in the grave...

One bowling ball to the groin.

My Bizzaro sense is tingling.

Odd resemblance..

If you had a monkey on yer back...

would you bowl with it?

I missed by the way.

Electra gives up and prays to the bowling gods.

Does it work?

Not bloody likely.

She is not pleased. Now she is a bowling Athiest.

COMING THRU!!!!

So happy togetheeeeeeer... wearing rented shoooooooooes....

Spike is glad he wasn't in last place.. just second to last..

So who won you ask?

Lenore schooled us on the art of ball manipualtion...

Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

And thaz what we do on our days off.. we invade bowling alleys, steal their wangs, and burn down their women... and um.. rape their.. uh.. chickens... umm.. wait..

Bizzaro.
Bizzaro.

One.. one spooky photo post AH AH AH!!! (Lighting, thunder, etc)

2005-10-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

The sign out front I bought the lightbulbs for. Spooky no?

Some of our new inside lighting

And the new straps and headgear for the electric chair.

Serpentina.. or Ms. Electra..or.. ah hell I don't know anymore.

Lenore

Spider

Mandatory Spike in the ticket Box photo

Gibil

I have no idea who this is...

Moose

Moose swallowing

Moose swallowed

Oh wait thaz me...

So thaz a taste of our spooky get ups. Amusing no?

Bizzaro.

The truth about hats and blogs...

2005-10-05T16:31:00.000-07:00

Ok so my titles aren't that funny sue me. I wanna give you kids a little backstory on this trip. First off, go read this article. It will give you a brief and blunt view into what happens on the road in a traveling carnival.

With that being said, I have noticed something in the sideshow world. It runs rampant in magic too but since sideshow tends to be a more down and dirty artform it tends to attract the more "Rough around the edges" kinda people. Anyone with 20 bucks and a deck of cards can do a trick and say they are a magician. They are WRONG but they can say it. In the sideshow world it's a bit different. Someone learns blockhead, to walk on some glass, escape a strait jacket, etc and suddenly he's "Sideshow". First off sideshow isn't really a title. It's a genre. Second, just because you act, look, dress, etc like a freak doesn't mean you are. Yer probably just some anti-social kid with bad hygiene who wasn't hugged enough as a kid who wants to be "Freaky".

The problem is sideshow is more of a performance art than most things. This means you have to also be a *Gasp* performer. Many people do not have what it takes to entertain a crowd, let alone be unique enough to stand out from the crowd. When I was coming out on the road I asked around about the group I was joining up with. I heard bad things from many people. I got out here and realized it was more an attitude thing.

Too many people wanna be rock stars and not work for it. A lot of butting of heads and lots of sarcasm. Too many fragile egos have come and gone in this company from what I understand. The basic attitude here is of not suffering fools gladly and get the job done and make the money.. period.

Many of the world's well known freaks have been seen in public forums being asshats to everyone. Hence why Slim's Board closed down. People with a lot to say and yet they don't say much.

Re-read that article. It's true. It's a hard business. Lots of hard work, yelling, drinking, performing hours and hours and hours and hours and.. you get the idea. Is the money good? It's ok. Is it something to experience? You bet it is.

If yer up to it...

More soon.

Bizzaro.

That sinking Feeling...

2005-10-01T11:41:00.000-07:00

We're at Shocktoberfest in Sinking Springs, PA. www.shocktoberfest.com come out and see us.

Bizzaro.

I luv midgets...

2005-09-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

or at leats that's what it sez on Moose's car now thanx to leetle Ricky. Maryland spot is fini. Might be off to Pennsylvania next. Could be doing a haunted house next. Who knows. Only the Shadow Nose.

Bizzaro.

(more soon I promise)

More graphical proof that freex DO have more fun...

2005-09-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

If yer on dial-up better go put a baked potato in the oven cuz' this might just take a while to load up.. thar be a tons of dem yarrrr!!

Spike and Lenore playing demolition derby with the 20$ wal-mart RC cars. By the way, what the hell is a tractor pull and why was it sold out tonight?

The electric moose...

Mosse's first fire breathing attempt. He blows real good.

And now a little tour of the show. Before you go in on the Bally stage is Rainbow Brite..er.. Electra Fyre trying to attract attention.

Spike.. still in the ticket booth.. looking teeny tiny.. which he is.

This is the box where 13 *cough*SiLvErPaInTeDwOoD*cough* blades are forced around our mystery rubber woman.

Gibil before he presents the blade box portion of the show.

Just to prove Spider actually does perform on the stage.

The two beds of razor sharp nails that go on spike...

That could cut thru his flesh.. like a hot knife thru butter.

More mouse trap on the tongue shots. They amuse me..

Picking up a bucket of rocks with the tongue.

Iron tongue Spike!!!

Moose after removing the coat hanger from his throat.. and bending it with his trachea.

Now some proof that I am actually in this show...

Gibil with his new razor blade hairstyle...

and the reults thereof...

The massive banner line we have to put up every morning...

Now proof why sideshow performers should not be allowed on bumper cars...

Spider, Electra, and Moose... who seem to be nodding off...

Like a fat happy child..

That is until IMPACT!!

moments before revenge...

Happy again!!

And now some close up shots while we were riding around..

The guy who let us on for free...

This photo is just on here so you can see the banners across the street..

Whew.. fun photos hunh? Doncha wish yah was here.. well doncha!?

Bizzaro.

A little story about a man named Jed...

2005-09-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

Or not.. regardless, gather round' and listen to mah story boils and ghouls.

First off I wanna say THESE girls saved mah life in Buffalo... they gave us free food. We loved them.. some of us wanted to in other ways but.. moving on..

We got to Hamburg, NY and met the performers. One of such was Spike... he dun like the ticket box.

His wife Lenore is heavily tattood, pierced, and amusing.

One of Spike's acts is letting a mousetrap snap on his tongue..

Whereas Lenore walks on broken glass.. collected from the Jersey Shore.

Sometimes they work out their differences.. on the bed of nails.

I came up here with Moose.. and he fit right in.. or vice versa.

This is the general reaction to moose's act...

We fired the first bally slut..er.. girl and hired a new one. They had the same name so it was easier to remember. She became our new Ms. Electra.

Then we hired another new person and they were abruptly sworn in.. with a marshmallow gun.

The two new kids found they liked each other.. and thus more trailer rocking.

Gibil does a bit of fire eating when I dun feel like it. He takes heaping spoonfools of fire. It's kool.. ina hot kinda way.

So we were a happy psychotic fambly...

Then I went to Bat's Day in CA and left them to fend for themselves in Syracuse for a week. I brought back with me Spider. (Thus leaving the count at TWO sideshow memebers stolen from Dallas.)

So we got bored on the last day in Syracuse and had a puppet show with Gibil's Monkey.. wait.. that sounded bad didn't it?

So once again a happy fambly... waaaaay too early in the day.

Moose lives happily evr after...

More to come. This is from the last few spots. Beware the ides of march.. er.. Maryland.

Bizzaro.

Come and see the show...

2005-09-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

The Great Fredrick State Fair Sept. 16th-24th. Come see the freeks!!!

Field Report...

2005-09-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

Litterally. I am in a field writing this. We're in Frederick, MD. Got a week off. Gonna use that to gather photos, make more posts, and update everyone on the trips so far. If yer in the DC area we're about an hour away so come see us!!

Bizzaro.

It begins...

2005-08-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

We are heading out on the road to Syracuse, NY. Myself and Spider from the Circus Della Morte. Then this journal will update the events that take place in a modern travelling sideshow. BEWARE!!

Bizzaro.

If it weren't for bad luck...

2005-08-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

Man this flying from NY to CA is hell. Glad I won't be doing it much longer. I'll be back in Syracuse for the end of the NY state fair. We have an eclectic buncha performers out there. Been a fun trip so far. Hard work, lots of shows, TOO much fire. (Yay Blistex)

I'll have photos and stuff as it progresses along with dates and locations but until then...

Bizzaro.

On the road again...

2005-08-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

Hey who doesn't like a cheesy Willie Nelson reference every now and again!?

This journal will report, inform, and amuse you of the travels in the sideshow world. Stay tuned.

Bizzaro.